Finding myself so I can find time for myself!

Okay, so I'm on this journey to find myself, ultimately so I can work on my health issues.  Everyone says I need to take time for myself.  Well that's fine except for fact that I feel guilty for taking time away from my family.  I know I'm not the only mom that feels that way. I've been thinking about this and what I need to do but I seriously lack commitment with my follow-through.  Back to the finding myself part, I'm not sure I ever found myself so I'm looking at this as a discovery of who I really am.  I have a hard time sticking with all this kind of stuff so I thought my blog might help me focus on myself, discover more about myself and it will be another form of accountability.  There it is...the "sort-of" introduction. 

Here is a much healthier me....at least 45 lbs lighter! These were taken in 2006.

I've lost 25 lbs since July when my doctor told me I could have a heart attack or stroke the next day because I was in the extreme "high risk" category.  It's been hit or miss since then.  I found out in Dec. that I was in the high risk category for Type 2 diabetes. That has definitely been an adventure since I've done so much research sometimes I think my eyes will cross.  I know have the tools, I just have to implement them.  I would like to have a weight loss goal for my birthday on May 3.  This is a huge milestone birthday since I will be 40 so I think this goal will be especially significant.  So know I have to decide on a weight....any suggestions?  I want it to be significant but attainable.